SKARSGASM

The people at HBO/True Blood are really being assholes about this.
15-20 seconds of almost nothing is seriously killing me. At least with Eclipse we got 1 1/2 minutes of nothing. Okay-that's harsh..but a disappointing 1 1/2 minutes-better? I guess I'm just a complete video/promo hoor and need something juicier..something meaty to satisfy me until I get a full 60 mins of my sex-on-a-stick Viking. We have so much anticipation & expectations for Season 3..I really hope they don't blow their wad and disappoint all of us. I realize there must be 1-2 Bill Lovers still in existence..(you may want to rewatch S1/S2 multiple times & masturbate furiously prior to watching Season 3) sorry ladies, but he's going to be exposed for the fuckface he is disappoint/shock the fuck out of you more than waking up next to Askars & finding out he has a vagina. What the hell am I saying?! Nothing would be more disappointing than that!! Blasphemy. Love you Askars! We have no reason to believe you have a Vajayjay!! Promise!!

Okay-so does anyone give a shit about Tara & her Thug Vamp Franklin? I myself do not. I've read the books so I know what happened there-but Alan Ball tends to fuck the books in the ass..so it could be a whole new story..Episode "AB's Fuckery formerly known as Southern Vampire Mysteries" Good Riddance Eggs..your storyline of Meat Orgies/Egg Licking/Carving people was just a little distasteful to me. *pause* Distasteful? LOL..what a dumb-ass choice of words..(I'm not sure anything can qualify as distasteful to me-I live on the edge of appropriateness daily) Boring/Stupid is probably better-I just didn't like you dude. You sir-are no Lafayette..that man has a personality. I like Tara-but that's probably cuz she's Sassy & has lots of attitude. I respect that in a woman..you-MEH

I get up at 5 am everyday for work. 5 hours sleep is perfect for me to feel alert & functional. On the weekends, I troll around on all my favorite blogs & search out any/all interesting new True Blood/Twilight news (that I haven't already gotten in an email/tweet/blog. So I went to bed around 2 am last night-as usual-and as I laid down, I realized I hadn't set my alarm-which is mandatory if I need want to get up anytime before noon. So I had the lazy bright idea to set the alarm on my new blackberry *that I have no idea how to use yet* and that's what I did.

When my son woke me up at 12:45, after bellowing like a wounded bear and cussing about the piece of shit alarm not going off..I saw that I had "all notifications off" which in my mind meant the 200 tweets I get at all hours of the day/night..NOT my alarm..Fuck Me-right? So fine-my day is fucked & is already half over by the time I dragged *literally because my back was all jacked up from too much sleep* my butt downstairs for some coffee before I started my myriad of boring-ass chores home beautification projects for the day.

So aforementioned Mama Bear makes her coffee & reaches into the fridge for the final component of milk...AND THERE IS NONE. I don't know about any of you dear people..but I have very few requirements in my life at this point. 1) Coffee in large quantities-mandatorily first thing in the morning 2) Hot Vampires at all hours of the day 3) Really just #1 & #2. I'm a pretty easy chick to please-but I digress..back to my complete meltdown...

Like any other level-headed person (read: pissed off ogre who got 2 days sleep & now has no fucking coffee) I stomped upstairs *to deal with other TMI issues you don't really want to hear about-but I NEEDED to take a shower but refused to delay my coffee that much longer* I changed my clothes..grumbled incoherently at all children uncouth enough to even try to talk to me in this state..and stormed out the door. Since I knew there was also no food in the house, I went ahead and did the weekly grocery shopping, because I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING..so I felt no need to make another trip in the afternoon & add to my general pissiness.

When I got home at 3 PM...yes 3 Pee Em IN THE AFTERNOON..I opened the garage door..no children..started carrying in the groceries..no children..son on the Xbox..no children helping..emptied the entire car..still no children..started putting the groceries away & realized one of the milk cartons was already opened!! My Oldest son somehow had snuck downstairs..poured cereal & snuck back upstairs without asking if I needed help or perhaps seeing all the bags scattered throughout the kitchen--putting something away? Oh no-his highness hadn't had his cereal yet..Son of a Bitch..if that wasn't just the icing..I STILL HADN'T HAD COFFEE AT 3 PM!!! And can you guess who finished the milk in the first place?! That same precious child. If I have ranted once..you as parents know it's been more like a thousand times..You.do.not.finish.the.last.of.the.milk.at.night--it is for coffee in the morning.

At this point I probably slipped into a medical coma from the blood pressure spike..It's all kind of a blur..but then I did finally have my coffee (+5 other cups)& slowly turned into the wonderful human being that I am today. Now what the hell is this post about? OH yeah..why I'm still awake..I think I did mention that I already got tonight's sleep in yesterday..which means I can spend the night looking for new Skarsporn & Robporn..which in my book is a night well spent!!

Yeah-I know, who the hell wants to go back to work tomorrow?! I surely don't..but as a consolation, we got another tiny teaser for season 3-granted it didn't have even a glimpse of Askars sweet ass his hotness..but a glimpse nonetheless. So since you all feel cheated, I felt obligated to amp up your libidos one last time before the new week starts. I'm a giver..I give you your weekly Pornskar Sunday pics-Enjoy:

I've only read the SVM 1 time so I don't have total recall..I know Eric has been shot more than once..but I don't remember it happening in Book 3. Of course, they have to adjust storylines for people that did certain acts in the book but aren't in the show..otherwise the storyline gets all blown to hell. Kinda like Bill staking Longshadow--Didn't happen. Eric was the hero in that one..but TB has to do something to make sure people fell in love with Bill ;-)
Now Eric..I think most of us fell for him since the beginning. Season 3 looks like Eric is going to have some juicy storylines..can't wait!!

So I'm guessing 14 seconds of Eric badassery was probably not enough for all you fellow die-hards.
It was an awesome 14 seconds and I could speculate all night-but I'd rather just drool over the beauty that is Askars & hope Sookie gets some of that this Season!! You go girl-Bills a Bastard!! Ride the Viking!!